RESTAURANTS (Updated 29/10/07)
Everyone has favourite restaurants, and the trouble is, they change so regularly that recommendations can so quickly lead to all-round-grumpiness. Here are some of my favourites.
(Please don't blame me if the place has gone off, though).
If it's in Blue, I love it. 'Not-to-be-missed' places are in Blue italics.
Red means avoid at all costs.
Places I've visited within the last twelve months are marked with an asterisk*.
Yes, it's a long page, but countries are listed alphabetically.
ARGENTINA
La Cabana*. I don't have a note of the phone number, but your concierge will know, as it's the most expensive place in town. Great steaks, excellent service, and plates so marvellous that I bought a dozen for the house in Mallorca! Best of all, to deter vegetarians, there's a stuffed cow in reception.
Las Lilas, Puerto Madero: 5411 4313 1336: As above, perhaps one notch down...but the second-best in this town is ten times better than the best steak-restaurant anywhere else in the world. Small warning: This place has started branding Argentinian beef and selling it in Supermarkets in Spain. This makes me uncomfortable, frankly.
Katrine, Puerto Madero: 5411 4315 6222: When you're tired of steak, this is an excellent alternative, in the pretty Puerto Madero area. A sensible restaurant, with a varied menu, and an excellent wine-list. The waiters are either good or better-than-good. The Maitres d' are so far up their own bums as to have to fart to breathe. Just ignore them. Silly little men.
FRANCE
Auberge de la Madonne*, Peillon, S.France : 334 9379 9117. Once you find the place, you'll get a fantastic view, and wonderful food from a tiny menu...and a pretty little village to walk it off in afterwards. But, seriously, DO give yourself time to find it. It's a hotel. too. One day, if I ever get the chance to be in the area without having to go to the god-awful Cannes 'festival', I'm going to give it a go.
Au Bascou, Paris : 331 4272 6925: Unpretentious, and in a rather unprepossessing quartier, but excellent Basque food and wine. The proprietor is a charming and enthusiastic cove, with a joke moustache...you can't miss him.
Chez L'Ami Louis*, Paris : 331 4887 748 : Gone downhill a bit, lately...probably since the ghastly Tony Blair infested the place a few years back. But I still like the huge chickens and bricks of Foie Gras and mountains of Fraises de Bois, and lakes of cream...it's a heart-attack with seats, basically. The reputedly grumpy waiters are never so with me...quite the opposite; but I've heard horror-stories. This place is mind-freezingly expensive, even for France, and even for Paris!
La Fontaine de Mars*, Paris : 331 4705 4644: If you want a small. typical French Bistro, with checked tablecloths and frantic waiters, and a pretty place to sit outside in the summer, and a paucity of tourists, this is it. I never visit Paris without at least one meal here.
Le Moulin de Lourmarin, Lourmarin, Provence : 334 9068 3176 : But not the hotel: Stay somewhere nearby, but do try the restaurant. The owner/chef, Eduard Loubet, is a thirty-ish-year-old genius, and a very nice bloke...not often the case. If he could find someone professional to run his hotel, and spend a few francs on the rooms, I could spend a week here, no trouble. As it is, the restaurant-staff are as helpful and knowledgeable as the hotel-staff are puffed-up buffoons, and the restaurant is, if anything, a bit over-decorated, while the rooms are furnished like a boarding-house in Rhyll.
Le Cafe de Commerce*, Aigues Mortes, Camargue: Very pretty, if somewhat touristy, village, which was a main kicking-off point for the crusades. This place is in the main square, and looks very ordinary. More ordinary than even the name might indicate, in fact. However, the seafood is the freshest, the service is brisk and extraordinarily friendly, and it's owned by a charming family. I lunch here at least thrice a week when I'm visiting Arles or Nimes.
Also, the restaurants at the following hotels:
La Regalido*, Michel Bras, La Colombe d'Or*. (See Hotel List).
GERMANY
Now this is a bit difficult, but last (and the first) time I was in Dusseldorf, the lovely Alina Kessel and her charming husband took me to a simple but trendy place by the river where the food was great, and we had a view of the marvellous Frank Gehry building on the far bank. The trouble is, I can't remember its name or find the book matches! I can only tell you it had Monkey in the name. Get a concierge to find it for you.
INDIA
Bukhara *, at Maurya Sheraton, Delhi : Phone: 0091 11 611 2233: What Indian food should be and rarely is...even in India. Basically, it's a tandoori-joint, but try the Lamb Raan with their massive Naans, and you go straight to heaven. Service can be a bit snotty.
Kandahar *, at the Bombay Oberoi Towers: Among the best Indian food I've ever had anywhere. The service is fantastic, too.
On the other side of Bombay is the Taj Land's End Hotel. Like most of the group's hotels, this is a symphony of bad taste as far as decor's concerned, so I wouldn't make a special effort to stay there unless you need to be in that area. However, their Indian Restaurant * (they have Chinese and European, too, but I didn't try them), is spectaculary wonderful. Nicer design than the Kandahar (without the view, sadly), and even keener service, were that possible. My pal Hamindar Singh described the food as 'divine' as he sat munching reverently and almost wordlessly at some lamb chops. To reduce Ham to relative silence for a moment or two is testament to the inspiration of the chefs.
LEBANON
Pepe Abed's , Byblos (Hilarious place...like a 60's time-warp. But great, simple food, a dream view. And Pepe is a 'character').
SINGAPORE
To be frank, it used to be hard to eat badly in Singapore, but the proliferation of new places, frequently run by enthusiastic amateurs, has made it more of a lottery. Still the best bet for local food are the tiny 'shophouses' or even street-stalls. Too many, and too varied to make individual recommendations, but if you're brave you'll try the palm-leaf curry-places on Racecourse Road...plus Mr.Weng's* chicken-wing stall, in Newton Circus. They're updating Newton Circus, so everyone's favourite is in a new and confusing location. When the job's finished, I'll rewrite this bit, and expand the list.
My Humble House*. 6423 1881. I'm generally not a fan of Chinese restaurants as such. The chandeliers and red carpets and all that kitsch old twaddle get on my tits. But this is a revelation. Beautifully-designed, darkish with spot-lit tables...those who've been to Alan Yao's Hakkasan in London (see below) will get the picture. The menu's not too long, the food is excellent and brilliantly presented, and the service is simply the best (ask for Adrian or Brennan Tan in particular). Lei Garden (below) is still good, but this is now my No.1 choice for Chinese. My only criticism is the waitresses uniforms. The Kitsch strikes back. They're nice girls, and deserve better than red satin and dragons!
St.Pierre *. 6438 0887: My favourite place. Small restaurant; very simple, but not at all spartan, decor. Quite remarkably creative menu. Faultlessly prepared and beautifully-presented food; charming and knowledgeable service. The chef, Emmanuel, is a lovely. modest bloke...looks like Gaultier, but has charm, talent, and muscles. Don't miss this one. It's situated in a location known by locals as The Mall That Time Forgot, and I can't even remember its name, so write it down when you book. And that's another thing; DO book .
Pierside*. Modern place in the new bit by the water opposite the Fullerton Hotel. The food gets better and better, and the service is brilliant. Sort of mediterranean fusiony, but totally delicious. Marvelous oysters. They do fish'n'chips, too, and a (no, I'm not kidding) fish pie that is utter heaven. Decor is sparse but acceptable, and squeaky-clean. Can't remember the phone number. Look it up.
Rang Mahal *. At the Pan-Pacific hotel. Slightly flashy Indian. Excellent food. I go there every time I'm back in town.
L'Aigle d'Or*: 6227 7678. In what used to be the Duxton Hotel in Duxton Hill, but is now called something else. It doesn't matter, because you won't be staying there. Get the address from your concierge or when you book. The restaurant is small, classy, French, with very reasonable prices and great service.
SOUTH AFRICA
Buitenverwachtig*, Capetown : 2721 794 3522 : I can never remember which of these first two recommendations ...see below...I like best. But go to both and make up your own mind. The food is great in each, and the location and surroundings just beautiful.
Constantia Uitsig*. Capetown : 2721 794 4480 (See above) Also an excellent little hotel.
Black Marlin*, False Bay : 2721 786 1621: Great seafood; great service: Amazing view. A bit of a drive from Capetown. Last time I was there, a massive baboon stole the restaurant cat, and we saw whales in the bay. Very reasonable prices, too.
SPAIN
Barcelona.
Passadis del Pep *, Pla del Palau, No.2 : 93 310 1021. Big brother restaurant to Cal Pep, which is close-by and famous. But I just love this far more civilised place. The seafood is the best you'll find in Barcelona, and thus, arguably, the world. There's no view...it's down a dingy little passageway, by the waterfront. Don't let this put you off. The passageway opens into quite a pretty room. But the food's the thing. Went there again last week, with the ever-entertaining Alex Martinez. Still great. So's the restaurant!
Restaurant de Bonanova*: 93 417 1033. Attractive and characterful. Used to be a pool-hall. Excellent eels, in season, and generally real and typical, without undue fuss. Toni Segarra's favourite haunt, which should be a good-enough recommendation, without my additional wittering.
Casa Calvet: 93 412 4012: Food's OK, and occasionally very good; but go because it's a Gaudi-designed building and room.
Comerc 24 * : Carrer Comerc 24: 93 319 2102. Carlos Abellan has worked with Ferran Adria at El Bulli. (On the other hand, who hasn't?). Anyway, he's opened this slightly over-the-top restaurant, which tries very hard, doesn't achieve either the wild peaks or devastating horrors of The Bulli, but is frankly, worth a go. It's not cheap, naturally. (I went with some extraordinarily jolly, funny company, so that may have coloured my opinion in the joint's favour somewhat!)
Seville
Hacienda Benazuza, Sanlucar la Mayor, Seville: 95 570 3344 (The hotel itself looks very pretty, but is situated in a rather dull suburb, about twenty minutes drive from Seville, so I don't fancy it. The Restaurant, though, is terrific, and the staff and service are top-notch. Well worth a drive out one lunchtime Note: Since it's been taken-over by El Bulli, from Catalonia, it may have gone barmy in the same way as the original, so all bets are off for a bit.).
Egana Oriza*, San Fernando 41, Seville: 95 422 7211. Despite its rather frou-frou decor, this is arguably the best place in town. The cooking is 'modern-Spanish', which means you don't get a lot on your plate, but what there is is marvellous.
Next door is another place, called Salvador Rojo. I didn't actually get to go to the dinner I organised for the lads there, but every one of them told me it was terrific.
Sol y Sombra*, Calle Castilla 149, Triana, Seville: 95 433 3935 ( To describe this as a restaurant is stretching even the optimism of an adman a bit far. It is simply my favourite tapas bar in all Spain. Situated in a deeply uninteresting part of town, far from touristland, this is a bit of a bugger to get to. A longish walk, or an absurdly short cab-ride. But inside, it's dark, dingy, and the walls are papered with old bullfight posters, going back as far as 1918. The ceiling is a solid block of hanging hams, punctuated by sherry-bottles. The staff are initially a bit bewildered by any influx of foreigners, but soon lose their shyness. The food is brilliant. You make your own atmosphere. Do not miss this one).
Madrid
Botin*, Cuchilleros, Madrid : 341 366 3026 (First of all, a caveat: Went last week, and it had gone downhill a lot. May have been an off-day. I'm giving it one more try. Until then, I'll leave the report as it was). Touristy as hell. Mentioned in Hemingway somewhere. But who cares...it's still the best and the most atmospheric place for cochinillo asado. I never miss coming here...at least thrice a week if I'm in town. If you want the less-touristy tables, try and get placed in the basement. The service is extraordinary, by the way: I have no idea how these guys keep their courtliness, good humour, and efficiency at a such a constant high, but when you visit, watch them at work...they are amazing. My three favourite waiters are Javier, Javier Sanchez, and Nino...ask to be seated in their area and get especially great service.
La Trainera*, Madrid: 3491 576 8035 (Spectacularly unprepossessing decor, and rather gruff service, But the biggest selection of some of the freshest seafood in Spain. Half a dozen different sorts of prawn, for instance. Not for a romantic dinner, but for business lunches or just a blowout, it's the biz).
Mallorca
Deia
Sebastian*, Deia: 34 971639 417. Tiny place, and some of the best food in the village. Beats the much overpraised Olivo (see below), at La crappy Residencia, by a mile, as far as the food is concerned, at less than half the price. Almost always full. You must book. Charming service; charming owners.
El Olivo*, Deia: Absurdly expensive, appallingly pretentious. As is the awful hotel of which is it the 'signature' restaurant. To be avoided.
Jaume's*, 971 639 029: Deia. Small, cosy place on the main drag, with charming service. Owned by truly nice people. The asados are nice, and the rest of the menu is invariably good. The Beef Carpaccio is the signature dish, and is a fantastic starter. If the weather's nice, the terrace is possibly the nicest place to eat on a summer night in Deya. I love this place and its owners are like family to me.
Ca'n Xorc*. 971 638 280. On the road from Deia to Soller. Up a hellishly windy track. Under no circumstances drive there yourself, at night. But do go for lunch, and if the weather's nice, get a table on the terrace, just for the fantastic view. The food's good, even if it tries a bit too hard, and it's also a very pretty little hotel. So if you must go at night, book a room!
Ca'n March*. 971 639 137. This is the beach restaurant at Cala Deia. (Down a vertigo-inducing but tarmac narrow road, on the left, about a hundred yards from the Deia boundary-marker). Rickety place, hanging on the rocks, right over the sea. Naturally, only open in Summer, and even then to be avoided if it's windy. But the freshest seafood you can imagine, simply cooked. It's run by a remarkably grumpy family, who occasionally surprise you with their kindness. Sitting here, with a plate of whatever's been caught that day, and a bottle of something cheap'n'pink, watching nothing much happen, is what heaven should, but probably won't, be like.
Sa Vinya*. 971 639 500. Pretty garden setting. Cheerful, sincere, efficient and kind service. Food is nice but unremarkable. Definitely worth a visit though.
The Rest of the Island
Ses Porxeres*: 971 613 762: Just outside the Alfabia Gardens and the tunnel to Soller. No view at all...you go for the food. Excellent asados. Wonderful and very 'local' other dishes, in particular game. Grumpy waiters. At least, grumpy until you've been there half a dozen times, and then they're like a corps of fussy uncles. This is probably my favourite place on the island, and definitely Daniel's (aged 10) favourite.The caracoles (snails) there are a bit spicy and fabulous. But do have the Chuletas en Piedra, which is baby lamb chops, cooked on a stone, on which they're served, on a wicker tray of olive twigs. Inhale deeply before eating. Have the ham; have the wild mushrooms; have the rillettes; have the pheasant. Have everything! Frankly, the menu is more suited to cooler weather...which is probably why they're closed in August.
Pedro's* in Valldemossa does asados, basically...with similarly off-hand-at-first-but-warming-to-regulars service. I like the place and the people a lot, but if you're a 'tourist'...hmmm. One tip...Tumbet is a sort of fried-up vegetable stew, which is very local. Try it here with a fried egg on the top, and chunks of crusty bread. Sounds like a heart-attack on a plate. Probably is. But I'm addicted.
Koldo Royo, Palma: 971 732 435: Very flashy joint on the seafront. The food is absolutely world-class, so it's worth putting up with a bit of undue fuss. Frankly, it's almost essential to book well ahead. and specify a table by the window, overlooking the harbour, to get full value. Downstairs is now a bistro-ish version of the upstairs restaurant. No view, but great food...and a lot cheaper.
Portixol Restaurant *: 971 271 800: In the little retro-style boutique hotel of the same name. The staff are great, and the restaurant is lovely at lunchtime on a bright winter's day, (or summer's day, I guess). The menu hovers between inspired and peculiar, but it's well worth the trip. If you're feeling a bit more mundane, the fish'n'chips is spectacular. Service, as I said but can't overstate, is friendly and all-round marvellous. Frankly, this is one of my favourite places in all Europe.
Miramar*, Puerto Andratx. Reportedly, the King eats here when he's in town on his yacht; a smart cookie, obviously. The food is marvellous, and I sometimes dream about the Lobster Caldereta when I'm abroad. But take my tip and ask the owner to recommend. He's a real enthusiast and a lovely bloke. The decor is fairly dull, and aside from the owner the service is ultra-professional but not effusive. As so often is the case in Spain, the food's the thing.
THAILAND
Sugar Huts *, Jomtien,Pattaya (see Hotels) : The food's gone downhill, too. Don't go here.
To Die For. Bangkok. A new and vastly-trendy restaurant, part-owned by Bhanu Inkawat, the charming and multi-talented Thai bloke who put Thai advertising on the world map. The food-designer (no mere chef, she), is one of the most legendary commercials producers in town. She's arguably even better at food, is a sweet person, and I absolutely adore the place. The cuisine is adventurous fusiony, but not fussy or pointlessly gimmicky. Next door is the Bangkok branch of Asia's premier graphic book store. One-stop shopping, for ad-folk.
In Phuket, there are way too many restaurants, and they change a lot. But if you're driving, take a trip down to the south, and find the cul-de-sac that leads to the pier in Chalong Bay. (You'll know you're in it when you see lots of dive-shops). When the road runs out, take the track to the right (not to the left, where there seems to be some sign of life) and you'll find a scruffy-looking place with a corrugated-iron roof. Grab a seat by the water's edge. The food is fantastic!
UNITED KINGDOM
(Here are just my very favourites! There are plenty of others, but most of these are worthy of italics, actually).
Hakkasan*, London, is spectacularly wonderful to look at and eat at, and expensive, and Chinese.
The Ivy*, London : 836 4751: A legend; near-impossible to get a reservation. Simple menu, not far from nursery-food. TRY and visit.
River Cafe*, London (Italian) : 381 8824: A bugger to find, but really worthwhile. Service can be a bit 'iffy'. Food never is.
Zafferano, London : 235 5800: Arguably the best Italian restaurant in London.
Cambio de Tercio*, London : 244 8970: The best Spanish food outside Spain...and better than most IN Spain. Staff are in the main, delightful. One of the managers is a bit odd and off-hand though. Ignore him.
El Sultan. Shepherds Market, London (Lebanese). This was once my favourite Leb in London, but on two recent visits, the food has become what I can only describe as tasting and looking factory-cooked. The service has gone from sloppy, through surly, to intentionally rude. Avoid it.
Noura*, the new Lebanese in Jermyn Street. It's usually full of Lebanese people, and the food's the best I've had outside Beirut.
Chor Bizarre* is an interesting Indian, off Piccadilly. So is Deya (yes, it's Indian). The only problem with Indian food in London these days is that everyone wants to be bloody 'nouvelle'. Most of the new places are expensive and, frankly, disappointing. If you want a kickin' Chicken Dhansak, a Rhogan Josh, and an eye-watering Prawn Vindaloo, I reckon you have to schlepp out to the suburbs. Perhaps a more knowledgeable reader will put me right?
Langan's Brasserie*, in Stratton Street, is so unfashionable, it's almost fashionable again. Pretty good, still. even though the spinach souffle is not what it was.
Scott's* is nice. Not remarkably so, but English, with good service and great Welsh Rarebit for afters.
Wiltons* is another of those 'old buffer' joints. In Jermyn Street. They've recently done the place up, but happily, not so's you'd notice. Good place. Excellent seafood and fish. If you're a chap, you have to wear a jacket. Ties not obligatory. Wallet-bogglingly expensive.
Green's* is in the same neck of the woods. (Duke of York Street, I think, but off Jermyn Street anyway). Much the same deal as Wilton's. Pleasant decor. Very 'English', and apparently they fancy themselves for their fish. Service is charming, and frequently antipodean. Not quite the same cachet as Wilton's, but in some ways I prefer it, and it's far cheaper.
Rules* used to be good, and English in a very theatrical way. But last time I was there, it had gone right off. Crappy service and poorly-cooked food. One couple next to us ordered duck. It arrived practically quacking, so they sent it back. When it reappeared, it was as tough as a Chelsea pensioners boots. They complained, and were told, by the appalling Gestapo-trained German waiter, that if you re-cook duck, it gets tougher. Like it was their fault for ordering it in the first place, and then again for sending it back for being raw. No suggestion of apology, or of getting a replacement. My own grouse was a tad undercooked, the bread sauce was lukewarm, the sauce was thin, the potatoes were cold. Avoid at all costs.
Incidentally, this may be the perfect place for French's First Restaurant-Rule: NEVER send food back. I've worked in restaurant kitchens, and they're worse than all the myths would have you believe. If it comes to that point, just walk out, leave your business card and tell them to send the bill if they dare.(They won't). And never, ever, go back.
URUGUAY
About a year ago, I was in Punta del Este with a great bunch of folks, and found one particular restaurant on the beach that I liked a hell of a lot. It's called La Huella. Roaring fires, great service, nice food...but the setting's the think. At night it may be one of the world's most romantic restaurants.
U.S.A.
Palm*, New York : 212 687 2953. Huge steaks and Monster lobsters. Reputedly rude waiters, but I've found quite the opposite. In the same vein, I quite like Smith and Wollensky, too, but it seems a lot more expensive to me, and here the waiters are definitely iffy. Maybe I'm wrong about the price. Maybe they're both extortionate!
Virgil's Real Barbecue*; 44th Street. NYC. Cheap and cheerful. Like me, really.
Ruby Foo's* (two branches). NYC. Cheap and cheerful, like me...but (unlike me) Oriental. Thai, Chinese, and Japanese, all on one menu. Not bad, either.
Aquagrill, New York : 212 274 0505. Again, it's so long since I went, this may no longer exist. but when it did, it was worth it just for the little sweet prawns.
Charlie Trotters, Chicago :1733 248 6228 . I used to think he was America's only genius-chef, but Keller, at The French Laundry in California may have stolen his crown. Mark Fenske recommends the latter, and I would never argue with Mark's taste in nosh. Recent reports tell me that the decor is now a bit grim.
Joe's Stone Crab *. Miami. Another perfectly good reason not to go to Miami at all. Basically, enormous quantities of expensive fast-seafood in frightful surroundings, Your co-customers will be gigantic tourists from Michigan in tragic trousers, and squat, smelly, central-casting drug-dealers from Central America with oddly-pneumatic molls.